47. Once more

I am a free bird

Let me be

Don’t tie me in a bond

I had been a loner

And so would I be

Don’t make me fond

Fond of you

Your talks

Your laughter

Your eyes

Fond of smirks

Your sneers

Your kisses

Your espies

Don’t make me believe, in life that is in dreams

Stay away from me, at a distance more than safe

I may not say to you, ever in times that would come

Even I get ecstatic, by the pricks of the crave

Where does has fallen from?

These droplets of frozen times

You are melting them one by one

Each surpassing other for prime

I want to become a statue, with breathing intact

Time immobile and you un-moving by my side

Look into my eyes, whisper softly in my ears

Hold me in your arms, hug me so much tight

Oh no no no no no, don’t touch me even a bit

How could I say thus, I just don’t want it!!

Oh look, what I am saying, under your influence

I don’t want you, yet I want you so much more....once more!!

Oh please save me, from falling in love with you

Don’t you make abode in my lonely deepest core....once more,once more!!

46. To stay or move apart.

Floating on a thin layer of ambiguity,
With fear of getting drowned in lies
Whimsies are victim over yet again
Vulnerability is as wide as the skies

Tip toeing, Dil-dallying on knots fragile
False hope of falling on neither side of tug
Breathing slow, beating fast, eyes awaiting
Anxiously for that one invincible shrug

Umpteen voices, empty noises, massacre
Thousand cuts on each vein of my heart
Opening the fist, letting all getting flown
Pick at other end, to stay or move apart!!

45. We are together, forever !!

I forgive myself,

For not understanding you

The way you wanted me to

I forgive you too,

For not accepting me

The way I wanted to be

I forgive our selves

You forgive us too

I want no bond

You free yourself too

I have always been possessive

And overprotective about you

Diminishing the fact that

I never belonged to you

I hurt you over and again

For the reason that I was scared

Scared of losing you

Fear of letting you be shared 

Burning myself in the agony immeasurable

I found my tiny ashes beside your huge dreams

My gratitude to you for toning me earthly down

No more do I feel attached to physical realms

And, things have changed for well

I may not beleaguer you much more

I leave your corpse behind with you

Take coerced with me your sinless core 

In heart of my heart

I don’t crave anymore

To see you, hear you

Feel you or touch you

Because all that is flesh and bones

And I never fell for that you know

I loved someone behind that veil

Truth that you hardly believed though

That man peeping through your eyes

That soul talking through your speech

That aura which pulled me oh so close

Won me through its alluring beseech

I feel very close to that person in you

I deem being one with heart so pure

You don’t recognize yet what you have in there

A beautiful soul, my all time lure

I am in concord, with your indestructible being

I am in a treaty, to be your cohort till the end of time

You travel through your births, I will cross impending lives

To be with you forever, will be my endeavor prime

So, here I will be, with you evermore

In this vast universe of promises infinite

Where neither can someone question my love for you

Nor can the world part us and divide

I will love you as I do, as I did in umpteen lives

And live to see that smile on your divine face

Amalgamation of your core with mine, completed me

No more domineering, no more corporeal chase

44. Free spirited soul

Neither the skin that you call so flawless
Nor the smile you call for always
Not my hair, not my lips
Not my gesture,not my kiss
I am none of that and those that you see
I am not contained,I am free
Free of the shapes you give to your thoughts
Free of your acceptance, free of your knots
I am the beat that breathe in your cells
I am the essence where your heart dwells
I am that peace with you eyes laid shut
I am the relief you feel after being hurt
I am the tickle you go through in your veins
I am the soother laid over all your pains
I am the point where your life finds it's gist
I am the stage where you seem so accomplished
I am that piece of you, travelling parallel
Standing alone, we stand void and null
You thrive in me, I survive in you
You are my green, I am your blue
You embrace my lines, I envelope your arches
You decode my silence, I read your darks
We live to fuel the fire in one another
We remain half entity without each other
Love of my life, I am mirror to your whole
I am not the flesh ball, I am free spirited soul

43. Your smile, O darling pie!!

Tossed into my life so inadvertently,

But it turned out to be so magnificently beautiful

Your influx with all that love

Oh dearest heart, can I ever be enough thankful

I could hardly comprehend with the flow of upshots

And see, here now I am

All together different human in being

Love of my life, am so much more than grateful

Nothing that I want

And I don’t have

Nothing that I wished

And you didn’t give

Nothing more than this

Can give me that bliss

Sweet apple of my eye

Your smile O darling pie !!

Keep Smiling !! :)

42. Magical Voices

Some voices when heard makes life more beautiful
They enlighten the essence of the conversation on whole
Treasure them,
In your heart of heart
To be heard through memories...

For,
They may not be heard as and when you wish,
Exclusively for you..
They may not stay with you forever
They may leave you sooner or later to accomplish their own journey
To fulfill their purpose of making more people happy
And to enlighten more lives elsewhere

Love them and feel them as much as you can till they are yours and with you!

41. Marsh mallows

It is soft

It is spongy

The tickle of the thought is so buttery

Sauvae- the initiations

Debonair-the delights

So velvety are the whimsies

The likes of the egg whites!

Sweet laden-the curls of roses

Being crushed with gentle moves

Flavors those clandestine

Plummeting the strife grooves

The creation thus uprising

Is beautiful although callow

My fantasies served as palate

Carved in cute Marsh mallows

40. Nameless Chase

Beyond my naive exultation
Above your ingenious jubilation

My love,
There is this beautiful silken wish
Gaping with hopeful breath
To be fulfilled at the verge of
Amalgamation of our trance

It sweetly mourns 
About the anticipated elation
That would surface the physical peripheries
At the onset of the movements

That,

Your skin would bring to mine
Your flesh would thrust in me
Your words would lit in heart
Your breath would burn in me

The feel of seventh cloud
Fragrance of frenzy highs
Trance of being so speechless
All talking done by eyes

Ohhh..the restlessness
Talk about the..so keenness
Blind horse of silken wishes
Meandering with eagerness!!

Breathing slow and fast
Exhaling with slightest pace

My love,

Where have we reached?
In this oh so nameless chase!!

39. Silent Sadness

Earlier when there came the times of sadness

It accompanied with it the thrust of disruption

This time it walked in so delicately unhurried,

With the cushioned paws buttoned beneath

Puffing around the breeze of desolation

And spreading within the tang of melancholy

Sadness,

Is so unique this time

No tears,

No momentum of ache in the heart

Eyes still on an invisible horizon

Mind afloat in vacuum of no thoughts

There is no crying over hurt words

There is no grieving of any loss

No exterminated dream

No eradicated appeal

No slaughtered wishes

No murdered feelings

And yet,

There is this sadness

Sadness in me,

Over me

With me

About me

Around me

Saying nothing

Demanding nothing

It Just wants to be with me,

It just just came to see me,

This weird sadness

This silent sadness

38. Cosmetic Fishes

All so lie

All so superficial

I live in the ocean full of cosmetic fishes

Covered with the scales of colorful deceits

They smell awful when their synthetic fragrance wades off

None can see or taste the tears, dropped by the genuine ones

In the ocean full of filthy salts

It chokes me to breathe here

It makes me uncomfortable

Perhaps,

I don’t belong here

Perhaps,

I have been wrongly placed

I want to swim away, far far away

I don’t know where

But definitely there

Where the water is clean

Fishes without spleen

Honesty is what they exhale

And loyalty thus prevail

I want to be free again

Save myself from pain

Pain of being so faux

Hurt of losing myself

I want to get away

From this endless malign delve

37. Ambivalence

Am I hiding my ambivalence about you?

Am I lying to myself?

Oh poor me,

How can it be..

Don’t I so well know?

Whenever it’s about you

I experience it a lot of time

And loose my every dime

On dilemma of being or not

Amongst your priority thought

My sweetest love of life

In your arms I thrive

And spread my wings of chasm

On behest of your transom

I surrender from depth of soul

The moment you curl me whole                                      

How can I ever think!

To not to think of you

Oh my darling pie

I can only think of you

No matter

How ambivalent

My attitude is so now

Mark my word for soul

You’re only mine, & will be

Forever and for now!!

36. Orange line

Dull sky,

Black clouds

And a thin orange sheet

Lying between the bunch of blacks

Tall buildings all lit up

Chimneys throwing smoke

River is covered with layer of fallen snow

And roads are bustling with automobiles

Standing on the eleventh floor

And peeping out of my window

Among the mixture of various things

Best sight to my eyes is that thin line

That thin orange patch between those black clouds 

A strange calmness

Some consolation kind

And a peace giving assertion

Is what I can feel right now..

But while I am writing this,

My peace is being stolen

Those black clouds are hovering over the orange spread

It's turning black all around

Gradually, entire sky would turn black

I don't like that

I don't like such gloominess

It makes me feel lonely and sad

I wish,

I could steal that bright piece of sky and keep with me..

I am hopeful,

Hopeful for a sunny day...

If not tomorrow,

Some days later...

Though I love snow,

But it'll be more lively to welcome the summers again

To see those beautiful flowers

And bright sky..

35. That sadness is not for you

And I still wonder
And I still search
That one reason why we ever met..

I consider, I believe
And I thank that we met
But then why,
Why, many a times
I am left wandering
In tangles of thoughts
And dreams we shared
Why am I left so lonely
Only to see your sad and silent face
To observe and feel the distance
When although you sit right beside me
Why am I thrown into solving the puzzle
Of whether am I the cause of your wrath
Have I troubled your peace once again
Are you hurt through my words I didn't utter
Did I fail to meet your expectations in bond

I suffer
I suffer to see you suffer
I suffer to see those blank glares
It hurts to feel the void you create
It pains to see that smile sans curve

I try to approach
I try to resolve
But I fail my love
Because you don't let me win
Because you don't let me in
I stand at the crossroads
Of all the plausible chaos
That you make me feel I might have done

And once again I give up
One more time I am left bundled up

But my heart
The hapless chap
And the most stubborn one
Doesn't stop meandering
In whimsies of unison with you
It doesn't agree that it have been shelved

And I
What do I do,
No one around me,
With thoughts all about you
And mind on autopilot
I tremble while holding the glass of water
I shudder while hanging the towel on hook
I jolt when turning off the gas knob
I shake with a hope to see you on phone screen
And I fall down piece by piece
In distress and helplessness
And I cry inconsolably
I cry loud, very loud
Like an abandoned child
Like a hungry beggar
Like a grieving whole

My eyes give way to river
And my face burns to red
And though My heart snivels
It does not give up on you

I ask why?
And I get to hear this
Which I always knew
And I still do believe
That with every beat my heart ticks
I fall in love with you once more
However hard I try to teach
Whatever way I choose to say
My heart doesn't believe in this
That you can ever- ever go away
You are in me
I see you in mirror everytime I see myself
I hear your voice whenever I close my eyes
I never feel you are gone
I never think you can go
I don't know my love
If it is right or wrong
But I am not able to forget you whatever I do

I do not want you to come to me
I do not want you to give me anything
I do not wish you should give up on your ways
I do not hope you would ever love me my ways
I simply don't want you to do anything that I want but you don't
What all I want is...you to be happy

Don't ever remain gloomy
Don't ever stay sad
Life may not be at times at its best
But it'll always yet be good
Keep smiling my love
It gives me the reason to smile all the more
You don't want to see me
You please don't...
But never give up on spreading that cheer
My love for you will always be the same
Selfless!!!